New Mom Survival Guide: 50+ Specific Ways to Ask for Help

The first month postpartum is a whirlwind, and there’s no need to do it all by yourself. Your village wants to support you, but they may not know how unless you ask. Here’s how to make sure they know what you need, from emotional support to practical tasks.

‍

Lean on Your Village 💜

‍

The first month after giving birth is an intense time of joy, recovery, adjustment, and learning how to navigate life with a newborn. It’s a ride! Having a village to lean on can ease the transition and make a world of difference. One thing we’ve learned from moms (and experienced ourselves) is that it is really hard to ask for help. We’ve also learned that if you want help, you’ve got to be specific. So here’s more than 50 ways your village can step up for you.

‍

Don’t Be Shy: Your Village Wants to Help

‍

If You Want Emotional Support

‍

It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions during those first few weeks. Actually, it's biology. Sometimes, all you need is a listening ear or a little extra encouragement to help you get through the day.

‍

• Ask a friend to send daily check-ins to see how you're feeling emotionally and physically.
• Invite a close friend over for coffee or tea just to talk and feel connected.
• Request a friend or family member to simply sit with you for companionship, even if you’re not up for talking.
• Ask for positive affirmations through texts or messages to remind you that you’re doing an amazing job.
• Set up vent sessions with a trusted friend where you can openly talk about the challenges you’re facing without judgment.
• Use your Villie Baby Page to ask for encouraging messages or check-ins from your loved ones.

‍

Ideas for Practical Help Around the House

‍

Moms get the double burden of childcare and house care. Don’t assume things will get done, just ask.

‍

• Have someone come over to do a few loads of laundry, including washing and folding baby clothes.
• Ask for help vacuuming the main living areas to keep things tidy and comfortable.
• Request help with washing dishes or loading and unloading the dishwasher.
• Ask someone to clean the bathroom for you.
• Request help taking out the garbage and recycling or bringing in the bins.
• Have a friend do a quick tidy-up in your living room or kitchen so you can relax in a clean space.
• Ask for help organizing baby gear, like diapers, wipes, and bottles, which can quickly become cluttered.
• Have someone restock the diaper station with diapers, wipes, and cream.
• Request someone to sweep and mop high-traffic areas of your home.

‍

Meal Support Is Everything

‍

A well-fed mom is a happy mom, and meal support can make a huge difference in your day-to-day life.

‍

• Set up a meal train where friends and family can sign up to bring meals to your home.
• Ask for freezer meals to be prepared in advance so you can heat them up when needed.
• Request someone to drop off healthy snacks like granola bars, fruit, or nuts for easy, nutritious snacking.
• Ask a friend to pick up fresh groceries for you, such as fruits, vegetables, and anything you’re craving.
• Have someone help with meal prep—chopping vegetables or prepping ingredients—so you can have ready-to-cook meals.
• Request breakfast drop-offs with items like a latte, muffins, bagels, or yogurt to start the day easily.
• Ask for delivery service gift cards if meal preparation feels like too much, giving you flexibility to order in.
• Request someone to batch cook soups or stews that you can store and reheat throughout the week.

‍

Get a Mom Break: Have Someone Else Hold the Baby!

‍

When asked how they want their village to step up, most moms say they want a break!

‍

• Ask a friend or family member to hold the baby for an hour so you can take a shower, nap, or eat.
• Request help with diaper changes to give yourself a break.
• If using bottles, ask someone to help with nighttime feedings to give you a longer stretch of sleep.
• Request someone experienced to come over and help soothe the baby if they’re fussy or struggling to sleep (like a night nurse or a mom friend).
• Ask a friend to wear the baby in a carrier for a bit while you take a mental or physical break.
• Request someone to take the baby for a stroller walk to give you some time to breathe.

‍

Have the Village Tackle the Errands

‍

With a newborn at home, getting out to run errands can feel impossible.

‍

• Request help with grocery shopping or a trip to the farmers market.
• Ask someone to pick up any prescriptions or postpartum supplies from the pharmacy.
• Have a friend or family member drop off or mail any thank-you notes or gifts that need to be returned.
• Ask someone to make a library run for you—return books or pick up new ones.
• Go run your errands with your baby, but take a buddy! They can sit in the car while you run in.
• Request help picking up dry cleaning, birthday gifts, or other household needs.

‍

Support for Older Children

‍

For moms with more than one child, the first month with a newborn can be even more demanding.

‍

• Ask friends to take your older kids for playdates, giving you quiet time to focus on the baby.
• Request babysitting help for your other children, even for just a couple of hours.
• Have someone take your older kids to the park or out for a walk to burn off some energy.
• Ask a friend to come over for a short story time or craft session with your older children.
• Request help with school drop-offs or pickups, allowing you to stay home and rest with the baby.
• Have a friend bring over special snacks or treats for your older children.
• Request someone to organize older kids’ toys or activities to make the home feel less chaotic.
• Ask for help preparing or supervising older children’s homework or school projects.
• Have a friend or family member come over to help with bath and bedtime routines for your older kids.

‍

References for This Article 📚

‍

The recommendations in this article are informed by expert advice, real-world experiences, and trusted resources:

‍

• American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP): Postpartum support tips
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC): Guidelines for maternal mental health
• Postpartum Support International (PSI): Community resources for new moms
• Villie’s State of the Village 2024: Insights on Building a Support Network

‍

Final Thoughts

‍

The first month postpartum is a whirlwind, but with your village by your side, you don’t have to do it all alone. Asking for help, even with the small stuff, can make a big difference. You’ve got this, and your village is ready to support you every step of the way. 💜

‍