New Mom Survival Guide: 50+ Specific Ways to Ask for Help

The first month after giving birth is an intense time of joy, recovery, adjustment, and learning how to navigate life with a newborn. It’s a ride! Having a village to lean on can ease the transition and make a world of difference. One thing we’ve learned from moms (and experienced ourselves) is that it is really hard to ask for help. We’ve also learned that if you want help, you’ve got to be specific. So here’s more than 50 ways your village can step up for you. 

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Don’t be shy! Your village wants to help, they are just looking to you for ideas. 

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If You Want Emotional Support

It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions during those first few weeks. Actually, it's biology. Sometimes, all you need is a listening ear or a little extra encouragement to help you get through the day. Here are a few ways to ask for emotional support from your village.

• Ask a friend to send you daily check-ins to see how you're feeling emotionally and physically.
• Invite a close friend over for coffee or tea just to talk and feel connected.
• Request a friend or family member to simply sit with you for companionship, even if you’re not up for talking.
• Ask for positive affirmations through texts or messages to remind you that you’re doing an amazing job.
• Set up vent sessions with a trusted friend where you can openly talk about the challenges you’re facing without judgment.

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Ideas for Practical Help Around the House

Moms get the double burden of childcare and house care. Sorry. Don't assume things will get done, just ask.

• Have someone come over to do a few loads of laundry, including washing and folding baby clothes.
• Ask for help vacuuming the main living areas to keep things tidy and comfortable.
• Request help with washing dishes or loading and unloading the dishwasher.
• Ask someone to clean the bathroom for you.
• Request help taking out the garbage and recycling, or bringing in the bins.
• Have a friend do a quick tidy-up in your living room or kitchen so you can relax in a clean space.
• Ask for help organizing baby gear, like diapers, wipes, and bottles, which can quickly become cluttered.
• Have someone restock the diaper station with diapers, wipes, and cream.

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Meal Support Is Everything

One of the best things your village can do is help keep you fed. A well-fed mom is a happy mom, and meal support can make a huge difference in your day-to-day life. Here’s how to ask for meal-related assistance.

• Set up a meal train where friends and family can sign up to bring meals to your home.
• Ask for freezer meals to be prepared in advance, so you can heat them up when needed.
• Request someone to drop off healthy snacks like granola bars, fruit, or nuts for easy, nutritious snacking.
• Ask a friend to pick up fresh groceries for you, such as fruits, vegetables, and any cravings.
• Have someone come over and help with meal prep—chopping vegetables, prepping ingredients—so you can have ready-to-cook meals.
• Request breakfast drop-offs with items like a latte, muffins, bagels, or yogurt to start the day easily.
• Ask for delivery service gift cards if meal preparation feels like too much, giving you flexibility to order in.

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Get a Mom Break- Have Someone Else Hold the Baby!

When asked how they want their village to step up, most moms say they want a break! Whether it’s to catch up on sleep, shower in peace, or simply take a moment for yourself, asking someone else to take over baby duty for a little while is a game-changer. Here’s how to make that happen.

• Ask a friend or family member to hold the baby for an hour so you can take a shower, nap, or eat.
• Request help with diaper changes to give yourself a break.
• If using bottles, ask someone to help with nighttime feedings to give you a longer stretch of sleep.
• Request someone experienced to come over and help soothe the baby if they’re fussy or struggling to sleep like a night nurse, or mom friend.
• Ask a friend to wear the baby in a carrier for a bit while you take a mental or physical break.

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Have the Village Tackle the Errands

With a newborn at home, getting out to run errands can feel impossible. Your village can easily take care of some of these tasks, so you can focus on resting and bonding with your baby.

• Request help with grocery shopping or the farmers market.
• Ask someone to pick up any prescriptions or postpartum supplies from the pharmacy.
• Have a friend or family member drop off or mail any thank-you notes or gifts that need to be returned.
• Ask someone to make a library run for you, whether it’s returning books or picking up new reads.
• Go run your errands with your baby but take a buddy! They can sit in the car while you run in.

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Support for Older Children - This One is a Must

For moms with more than one child, the first month with a newborn can be even more demanding. Here are specific things you can ask for to help with your older or other children.

• Ask friends to take your older kids for playdates, giving you quiet time to focus on the baby.
• Request babysitting help for your other children, even for just a couple of hours, to catch up on rest or bond with the newborn.
• Have someone take your older kids to the park or out for a walk to burn off some energy.
• Ask a friend to come over for a short story time or craft session with your older children, keeping them entertained and engaged.
• Request help with school drop-offs or pickups, allowing you to stay home and rest with the baby.
• Ask someone to prepare simple craft activities or coloring books to keep older siblings busy while you focus on the baby.
• Have a friend bring over special snacks or treats for your older children so they feel included during this transitional time.
• Request help organizing or supervising older children’s homework or after-school activities.
• Ask for help with scheduling and setting up activities, like soccer practice or dance lessons.
• Have a friend or family member come over to help with bath and bedtime routines for your older kids, allowing you to focus on your baby or just go to bed early!

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Ask for All of It - The Village Wants to Help

The first month postpartum is hard, fun, enjoyable and every feeling you can imagine! You don’t have to do everything by yourself. Don’t hesitate to lean on your village for support—they want to help! We know so much falls on the mom, but you've got to help that village be helpful. Whether it’s emotional reassurance, household tasks, or baby care, there are so many ways your community can step up. By asking for help in specific ways, you’ll find that you and your baby are surrounded by love and support during this important time.

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