What to Say to Someone After Pregnancy Loss 💜

Losing a baby is one of the hardest experiences a parent can go through. If you’re reading this, it’s likely because someone you love is grieving, and you want to offer them support. First, let us say: we’re sorry you’re here. It’s hard to know what to say or do, but showing up with compassion and understanding is already a step in the right direction.

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Here’s a guide to help you navigate this delicate time.

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Acknowledge Her Loss 💔

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You don’t need to have the perfect words. What matters most is recognizing her grief and being there.

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What to Say:

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• “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
• “I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you.”
• “This really sucks, and I’m here for you.”

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Keep it simple and sincere—your honesty will mean more than you realize.

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Offer Specific Support 🤝

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Some grieving parents need space; others need company. The best thing you can do is offer your time and presence in a way that meets their needs.

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What to Say:

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• “I’m here for you. If you want to talk, I’m ready to listen.”
• “I’m here for you. If you don’t want to be alone, I’ll come sit with you.”

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Remember: sometimes, just being there in silence is enough.

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Do Not Minimize Grief 🚫

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Avoid trying to comfort them with phrases that dismiss or downplay their pain.

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Never Say:

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• “At least you can try again.”
• “Everything happens for a reason.”
• “You’re already a mom.”

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These statements can unintentionally invalidate their feelings, even if they’re said with good intentions.

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Let Her Lead and Listen 👂

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Every grieving parent processes loss differently. She may want to share her story, or she may not. Let her guide the conversation, and don’t feel pressured to fill every silence.

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Remember:

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• It’s OK to just listen.
• It’s OK to sit in silence together.

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Do Not Share a Story 📖

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Avoid sharing stories about others who have experienced loss. While you may mean to offer comfort, these stories can feel dismissive or even retraumatizing.

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Don’t Ask What Happened ❓

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Grieving parents often carry immense guilt, even if the loss was out of their control. Avoid asking questions about the cause unless she chooses to open up about it.

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Offer Specific Help 🎁

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Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” offer concrete ways to assist. Small acts of kindness can make a huge difference during this time.

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Examples of What to Say:

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• “I’m going to drop off dinner. Does tomorrow work?”
• “I can pick up groceries for you. What do you need?”
• “Can I grab anything from the pharmacy?”
• “Let me pick up the kids from school and take them to dinner. Does this afternoon work?”

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Help Parents Remember Their Baby 🌟

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Honoring the baby’s memory can bring comfort. Here are a few thoughtful ways to help parents commemorate their child:

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• Release balloons or butterflies.
• Gift a piece of jewelry with the baby’s birthstone.
• Plant a tree or flowers in their memory.
• Donate children’s books to a library.
• Start a fundraiser or charity event in the baby’s name.
• Light a candle on October 15, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, at 7 PM local time.

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Respect Her Grieving Process 🌈

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Grieving takes time, and everyone processes it differently. Offer your love and understanding without judgment.

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What to Say:

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• “I’m thinking about you.”
• “Take all the time you need. I’m here for you.”

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Checking in regularly—whether it’s a text, a call, or stopping by—reminds her that she’s not alone.

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More Resources for Support 📚

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Grief can feel overwhelming for everyone involved. If you or your loved one need additional support, these resources can help:

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• Postpartum Support International: Resources for moms, dads, and extended family.
• Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support: Support for families navigating loss.
• The Compassionate Friends: Grief support for families after the death of a child.

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Final Thoughts

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Losing a baby is devastating, and finding the right words to say can feel impossible. The truth is, your presence and willingness to listen are often more comforting than anything you could say.

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Be there. Hold space for her grief. And remember: even the simplest gestures can offer profound comfort. 💜

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