What Not to Say to a Pregnant Person…Ever 🤰💬

Know someone who’s expecting? Shower her with love, support, and understanding—but choose your words wisely! While pregnancy is a beautiful journey, it can also be a vulnerable and emotional time for many. Avoid common pitfalls by steering clear of these unhelpful remarks and focusing on empathy and encouragement.

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Physical Appearance and Body Comments 🧍‍♀️🔍

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Pregnancy changes a person’s body in countless ways, and comments on their appearance—no matter how well-meaning—can often be taken the wrong way.

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Don’t Say:

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• “You’re so huge!”
• “Are you sure it’s not twins?”
• “You look ready to pop!”
• “You’re too skinny to be pregnant.”

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Instead, Try:

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• Compliments that focus on well-being:
  • “You look wonderful!”
  • “Your bump is adorable!”
• Positive and specific remarks:
  • “You’re glowing!” ✨

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Personal Choices and Lifestyle 🍽️🏋️‍♀️

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Pregnant individuals make decisions that are best for themselves and their baby, and unsolicited opinions on these choices can feel intrusive or judgmental.

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Don’t Say:

• “Should you be eating that?”
• “You shouldn’t be doing that while pregnant.”
• “You should be resting, not out and about.”

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Instead, Try:

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• Respectful comments that support their autonomy:
  • “That looks delicious!” 🍩
  • “You’re doing an amazing job.” 💪
• Offers of help, if appropriate:
  • “Can I lend a hand with anything?”

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Privacy and Intrusion 🚫👀

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Pregnancy is personal, and prying into private matters—like conception or birth plans—can cross boundaries.

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Never Say:

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• “Was it planned?”
• “Can I touch your belly?” 🤲

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Instead, Try:

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• General expressions of congratulations:
  • “I’m so happy for you!” 🎉
• Always ask permission if physical touch is involved:
  • “Would you mind if I touched your belly?”

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Respect Family Structures 💜👨‍👨‍👦‍👩‍👩‍👦

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When talking to someone who is expecting, especially in nontraditional families, avoid intrusive questions about how their baby came to be. For gay couples, solo parents, or anyone expecting via surrogacy or adoption, these questions can feel deeply personal and invalidating.

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Don’t Say:

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• “Where is the baby from?”
• “Who’s the real mom/dad?”
• “Did you use a surrogate?”

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Instead, Try:

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• Focus on the excitement of their journey:
  • “You must be so excited to meet your little one!”
  • “What’s been the most joyful part of preparing for your baby so far?”

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Acknowledging their joy without prying into their journey shows respect and celebrates the love that is bringing their baby into the world.

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Future Parenting and Family Planning 👨‍👩‍👧💭

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Pregnancy already comes with plenty of pressures, and remarks about family size or parenting plans can add unnecessary stress.

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Don’t Say:

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• “You must be hoping for a boy (or girl).”
• “Are you planning on more kids?”
• “Wow, you already have a lot of kids.”

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Instead, Try:

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• Neutral and supportive questions:
  • “Do you have any preferences?”
  • “You’re going to be such a great parent.” 💜
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Stereotypes and Assumptions 🔮🎯

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Avoid making gender-based or other stereotypical comments about their pregnancy, baby, or parenting journey.

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Don’t Say:

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• “You’re carrying low; it must be a boy!”
• “Aren’t you a bit young (or old) to have a baby?”

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Instead, Try:

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• Respectful remarks that focus on their unique experience:
  • “Every pregnancy is different, isn’t it?”
  • “It must be exciting to see how things unfold!” 🌟

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Support and Empathy 💬🤝

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Pregnancy comes with its share of challenges, and it’s always better to offer understanding and support than to make negative assumptions about their experience.

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Don’t Say:

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• “Say goodbye to your sleep!” 💤
• “Better get used to having no time for yourself!”

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Instead, Try:

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• Ask open-ended questions to show you care:
  • “How are you feeling these days?”
  • “It’s a big change—do you need anything?”
• Offer encouragement:
  • “You’ve got this!” 💪

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Sharing Personal Experiences and Comparisons 📖🤰

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It’s tempting to share your own pregnancy stories or those you’ve heard, but be mindful of how they might come across.

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Don’t Say:

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• “When I was pregnant, I had so many complications...”
• “My friend had a really tough labor...”

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Instead, Try:

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• Share positive or neutral stories:
  • “Every pregnancy is so different—take all stories with a grain of salt!”
• Focus on their journey:
  • “How has your experience been so far?”

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When in Doubt: Keep It Simple 💜

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If you’re unsure what to say, stick to genuine compliments or words of encouragement. Some failsafe options include:

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• “You look great!” ✨
• “I’m so happy for you!” 🎉
• “You’re going to be an amazing parent.” 💜

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Final Thoughts

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Pregnancy is a unique and personal experience, and every individual handles it differently. By choosing your words carefully, respecting boundaries, and focusing on positivity, you can help make this special time even more joyful for the parents-to-be.

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When in doubt, remember: kindness and empathy go a long way! 🌟💜

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