Carolina’s Birth Story: Find Strength and Peace in Flexibility
When I look back on my birth experience, I feel a deep sense of peace—even though it didn’t go the way I initially imagined. As a first-time mom, I quickly learned that the best birth plan you can have is a flexible one.
Like many moms-to-be, I started my pregnancy with a clear idea of how I wanted things to go. I envisioned a healthy, active pregnancy followed by a vaginal birth. But as my pregnancy unfolded, I realized that labor and delivery don’t always follow a script. Instead, what made my journey so positive was my ability to adapt, prepare for different scenarios, and focus on what mattered most: my baby and my health.
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My Pregnancy Journey: I Learned to Let Go
I went into pregnancy feeling strong and healthy. Weight training and staying active were a big part of my life, and I assumed I’d be one of those moms doing squats with her bump until the day she gave birth. But pregnancy had other plans for me.
By 18 weeks, I was diagnosed with low-lying placenta, a condition where the placenta sits unusually low in the uterus, potentially blocking or partially covering the cervix. This increases the risk of bleeding and can complicate labor and delivery. My doctors kept a close eye on me, and at 26 weeks, I went into preterm labor, spending a week in the hospital to recover. From that point on, my activity was limited to walking and gentle yoga.
At first, I felt frustrated. I had imagined being active throughout pregnancy, but as my plans shifted, I learned to let go. My doctors reassured me that my health and fitness prior to pregnancy had played a big role in helping me overcome preterm labor without delivering early.
This shift in perspective was a turning point for me. I reminded myself daily of the quote:
“To worry is to suffer twice.”
This helped me compartmentalize my fears and focus on what I could control.
The Power of Preparation
As my pregnancy progressed, I realized I couldn’t control how my birth would go, but I could control how I prepared for it.
To my surprise, at 36 weeks, my placenta had moved far enough away from the cervix that I was cleared for a vaginal delivery! I was beyond happy to know there was no longer any risk involved in my pregnancy. But in the back of my mind, I couldn’t let go of the preparations I had made for a cesarean. Something told me to stay flexible and keep both options open—and I’m so glad I did.
Here’s how I prepared for both outcomes:
- Packing for Both Scenarios: My hospital bag included two going-home outfits—one for a vaginal birth and one for a cesarean.
- Considering an Epidural: I wasn’t sure about getting an epidural at first (needles aren’t my thing!), but after talking with an anesthesiologist friend, I learned how it could help in case of an emergency cesarean.
- Understanding the Process: My OB walked me through what an induction or cesarean might involve, so I felt confident no matter the outcome.
- Focusing on What Mattered: I reminded myself daily that the most important thing was a healthy baby and a safe delivery.
My Birth Story: From Induction to C-Section
At 40 weeks, my baby showed no signs of arriving on their own. I wasn’t dilated, and my cervix hadn’t changed. After trying everything my doctor approved to kickstart labor, I was scheduled for an induction.
Even then, I kept my mindset flexible. I told myself, It could go either way—and that’s okay.
Here’s how it played out:
- Induction: The first medicine helped soften my cervix, and my water broke shortly after.
- Labor: I labored for 13 hours with Pitocin, reaching 7 cm before my progress stalled.
- The Decision: When my baby started showing signs of stress and my body wasn’t progressing, I decided to move forward with a cesarean.
I cried when I made the decision, but I also felt at peace knowing it was the best choice for my baby.
Meeting My Baby
In the operating room, I focused on my husband’s face as the team worked. With calming music playing overhead and warm blankets draped over me, I stayed present in the moment.
When I heard my baby cry for the first time, everything else melted away. All the stress, the worry, the nine months of uncertainty—it all disappeared. My baby boy was here, healthy and safe, and that was all that mattered.
How You Can Create a Flexible Birth Plan
Looking back, I realize that flexibility was the key to my positive birth experience. Here’s how you can create a flexible birth plan that leaves room for the unexpected:
- Understand Your Options
- Learn about both vaginal and cesarean births, even if you’re aiming for one over the other. Knowledge is power, and understanding the steps involved in different outcomes can reduce anxiety.
- Talk to Your OB
- Have open conversations with your doctor about what to expect during labor and delivery. Ask about scenarios like inductions, epidurals, or emergency cesareans so you feel prepared.
- Pack for Both Outcomes
- Include essentials for both vaginal and cesarean recoveries in your hospital bag. It’s a simple step that can save you stress later.
- Create a “Preference Plan”
- Instead of a strict birth plan, think of it as a list of preferences. For example:
- “I’d like to labor without pain medication but remain open to an epidural if needed.”
- “If a cesarean is necessary, I’d like immediate skin-to-skin contact.”
- Instead of a strict birth plan, think of it as a list of preferences. For example:
- Focus on What Matters Most
- The ultimate goal is a healthy baby and a safe delivery. Remind yourself of this when things don’t go as planned.
✨ Pro Tip: Prepare mentally for surprises by researching recovery tips for both outcomes.
The Role of Your Village: Get Them Ready
Parenting—and birth—takes a village. Your support system can make all the difference during pregnancy, birth, and recovery. Here’s how Villie’s free Baby Page can help you get your village ready:
- Share Updates Privately: Let loved ones know how they can support you during labor and postpartum without relying on social media.
- Crowdfund for Support: Use your Baby Page to raise funds for doula fees, postpartum care, or baby essentials.
- Centralize Registries: Manage and share all your registries in one place so your village knows exactly what you need.
- Stay Organized: Keep important information, like labor updates or postpartum recovery tips, in one easy-to-access space.
✨ Why It’s Essential: The Baby Page empowers your loved ones to support you, whether they’re near or far.
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My Advice: Be Open and Flexible
The most valuable advice I can give any mom-to-be is to stay open and flexible. Birth is unpredictable, and no plan can account for every possibility. But by preparing for different outcomes, having open conversations with your OB, and focusing on what matters most, you can create a birth experience that feels positive and empowering.
Your journey may not go exactly as planned—but that doesn’t mean it won’t be beautiful. 💕
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