In an era where communal living and extended family support seem like tales of yesteryear, one TikTok video has sparked a conversation about the state of the village. Meet Deja, @mrsdejasmith on TikTok. She shares a candid reflection on the unexpected luxury of having a village to help raise a child—a support system many assume will naturally fall into place but often does not.
The video opens with this young mother expressing her surprise at realizing that having a village is not a given but a privilege. She thought that friends and family would just be there and step up to help and be there for her.
But it didn’t happen like that.
Her Village didn’t show up. She found herself having to coax and sometimes beg people to engage with her and her child.
Her truth makes her think about societal dynamics. How much have they shifted since her own childhood, making the communal support she anticipated elusive or just not there.
Deja's commentary on modern parenthood went viral on TikTok. Since she shared the video on May 14 she has over 8000 hearts and 475+ comments.
Moms are relating! This video is viral because parents have a lot to say about the state of their village.
Lots of commenters share their own experience of feeling abandoned or let down by those they expected would be part of their village.
This video sparked moms to think about the experience they had growing up, where their grandparents were always around and there to help. It doesn’t feel the same today to these parents who don’t have it the same.
Lots of moms share tips to build your own village, especially when your friends and family aren’t stepping up. Places to go are local mom groups, online communities, finding friends on social media.
Today we live in a very different world than our parents. We live far away from where we grew up, we’re busy and relationships are just different than they used to be. Several commenters think that today’s culture is just less helpful for parents and communal support is not so common.
The heartfelt responses to this TikTok video open up an essential conversation about the realities of parenting today. It's clear that many of us were caught off guard, expecting a village to magically appear when we stepped into the world of parenting. Instead, we've had to navigate the choppy waters of building our support networks, often feeling more alone than we ever anticipated.
But here's the silver lining: these discussions are sparking a movement towards creating new kinds of villages. Whether it’s finding your tribe online, connecting with fellow parents in the neighborhood, or redefining what family support looks like, we’re learning to reach out, connect, and support each other in more dynamic ways.
At Villie, we believe in the power of community and the strength that comes from sharing our journeys. Let’s keep this conversation going. Let's share more, help more, and build stronger, more supportive networks. Because every parent deserves a village, and together, we can make sure that no one has to go it alone. Let’s get our village villaging again!
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