How to Show Up: Supporting a Loved One Through a Miscarriage 💜

Miscarriages are heartbreaking. Whether it’s your partner, close friend, or family member experiencing this loss, it’s natural to want to help—but figuring out exactly how to support them can be challenging.

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Based on personal experiences, the team at Villie has created this guide to help you navigate how to show up for someone after a miscarriage. Offering the right kind of emotional and practical support can make all the difference during such a difficult time.

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Listen Without Judgment 👂

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Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply listen.

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• Let Them Share: Your loved one may want to talk about their feelings or the pain they’re experiencing. Allow them the space to process, without jumping in with solutions or advice.
• Avoid Platitudes: Statements like “It wasn’t meant to be” or “You can try again” can feel dismissive, even when well-intentioned. Stick to simple, heartfelt words like:
  • “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
  • “This sucks, and I’m here for you.”
  • “Take your time—I’m here whenever you need to talk.”

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Listening is one of the most impactful ways to show your love and support.

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Offer Practical Support 🤝

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Miscarriage can be physically and emotionally exhausting, and everyday tasks can feel overwhelming. Practical help often speaks louder than words.

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• Ask What They Need: Everyone’s needs are different—some may want meals delivered, while others need help running errands.
• Specific Offers Go Further: Instead of saying “Let me know if you need anything,” offer something tangible:
  • “Can I walk your dog today?”
  • “I’m free to pick up groceries or prepare meals this week.”
  • “Would it help if I babysit for a few hours?”
• Workplace Support: If they need time off, help them navigate paperwork or cover their responsibilities.

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Small gestures, tailored to their needs, can lighten the load during this tough time.

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Send a Thoughtful Gesture 🎁

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A small but thoughtful gesture can remind your loved one that they’re not alone.

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• What to Send:
  • A handwritten card expressing your care and support.
  • Flowers or a comforting gift like a cozy blanket or candle.
  • A donation in their honor to a charity that supports pregnancy loss awareness.
• What to Say: Keep it simple:
  • “I’m thinking of you and sending love.”
  • “I’m here for you anytime.”
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These gestures may seem small, but they can provide a glimmer of comfort during a painful time.

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Be Patient and Respect Their Grieving Process ⏳

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Grief is personal, and no two people handle miscarriage the same way.

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• Respect Their Needs: Some people may want to talk about their experience often, while others may prefer to avoid the topic.
• Be Available Without Pressure: Check in regularly with a simple message like, “I’m thinking of you today,” but don’t push them to share if they’re not ready.
• Be There for the Long Haul: Healing takes time, and your support matters long after the initial loss.

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Patience and understanding are the foundation of meaningful support.

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Take Care of Yourself Too 💜

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Supporting someone through miscarriage can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to take care of your own needs as well.

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• Lean on Your Network: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings to ensure you’re processing your own emotions.
• Practice Self-Care: Take breaks, get rest, and do activities that help you recharge so you can continue to show up for your loved one.

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You can’t pour from an empty cup—taking care of yourself allows you to better care for others.

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Recognize When Professional Help Is Needed 🚨

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Sometimes, miscarriage grief can become overwhelming, and professional support is crucial.

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Warning Signs That Need Attention (More Than 2 Weeks):

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• Excessive or irrational worry
• Trouble sleeping, concentrating, or caring for themselves
• Physical symptoms like trembling, nausea, or muscle tension
• Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or numbness
• Flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive thoughts
• Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

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If these signs persist, encourage your loved one to seek help.

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Resources to Consider:

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• 988 Lifeline: A free and confidential emotional support hotline for crisis situations.
• Psychology Today: An online directory to find licensed mental health professionals by location, specialty, and budget.
• American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG): Offers guidance on emotional recovery and mental health support after pregnancy loss.

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Professional help can provide the tools needed to navigate grief in a healthy way.

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References 📚

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For additional information on supporting loved ones through miscarriage, consider these resources:

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• Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support: Support and resources for families grieving pregnancy and infant loss.
• Psychology Today: Find therapists who specialize in grief and loss.
• American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG): Educational resources on pregnancy loss and mental health.

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Final Thoughts: Your Support Makes a Difference 💜

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Miscarriage is a devastating experience, but your compassion and support can make a profound difference. By listening without judgment, offering practical help, sending thoughtful gestures, and being patient, you can help your loved one navigate this challenging time.

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And don’t forget—you’re not alone either. Supporting someone through loss is hard, but by taking care of yourself and seeking support when needed, you’re ensuring you can continue to show up with love and strength.

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You have the power to make this difficult journey a little lighter for your loved one. Thank you for showing up. 💜

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